英文笑话短带翻译一：
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S" dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
曾经有只蜗牛，它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。他决心去弄些跑得飞快的轮子来改变这种境况。逛了一圈之后，它决定买Datson 240-Z。他去了最近的Datsun经销店，去买Datson 240-Z，但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆，改称240-S。 经销商问：“为什么是S呢?” 蜗牛回答说：“‘s’代表蜗牛。我想让每一个看见我呼啸而过的人知道是谁在开车。” 经销商不想失去把汽车卖给蜗牛这样一个机会，所以他同意收取些许费用，把车重新涂漆。 蜗牛开着它的新车，把自己的余生都用在了快乐地高速行使在告诉公路上。而不论何时任何人看见它飞驰而过的时候，都会说：“哦!看那S-car 。”
英文笑话短带翻译二：
Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人死后仍有生命吗?”老板问他的.一个员工。
“是的，先生。”这个新员工回答说。
“哦，那么，这样说来一切就很正常了，”老板继续说，“在你今早离开，去参加你奶奶的葬礼，她来看你了。”
英文笑话短带翻译三：
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
我和一个朋友在快餐店排队订餐，那里很醒目地写着，不接受超过20美元的大钞(请自备零钱)。
我们前边的一个女士指着这个牌子对我们说：“上帝保佑，如果我身上有超过20美元的话，我一定不会在这儿吃饭!”